


Sweet Offering (2009)

by JennyB



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Bad Decisions, Community: 30kisses, Embarrassment, Gen, Jealousy, Obsession, Panic, Self-Denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-08
Updated: 2009-05-08
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7106596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyB/pseuds/JennyB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An ambiguously worded question leads to an epic misunderstanding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Offering (2009)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LJ community 30kisses, prompt#23 - 'candy'

Sanzo had two secret obsessions.

The first was sweets. It wasn't the sort of thing where he felt compelled to go out and _gorge_ himself on candy and chocolate, but he did have an appreciation for it - the taste, the scent, the texture as he savoured it on his tongue. However, the more he craved it, the more he denied himself - though he would occasionally indulge in the odd bit of dessert here and there simply to keep the yearnings at bay.

The second, and infinitely more troublesome, was Hakkai. Just looking at him was like looking at some sinful confection. Hakkai, with his rich, chocolate tresses, smooth, milky skin, and luscious, pink lips. In Sanzo's mind, he imagined those lips would taste like the sugared strawberry marshmallows Goku was so fond of, and there was a big part of him that secretly wanted to find out. However, like with the sweets, the more he thought about the willowy brunet, the harder he pushed away and tried to ignore him. And the worst part about this particular obsession was that he simply _couldn't_ permit himself to satisfy that want at all - for _very_ obvious reasons.

He'd always been able to stave off any major reaction to either, and he'd never had a reason to worry about slipping up. But, his own overconfidence and complacency coupled with a bit of carelessness had cost him. Big time. And now he was going to have to pay for his indiscretion.

His eyes were wide in shock as he slammed the door to his room behind him and clicked the lock. He waited for a minute...then two...and when five had passed and there'd been no ensuing knock, he let his eyes fall closed and leaned back against the wood. A low groan escaped him as he facepalmed briefly at his stupidity, and he let out the remainder of his breath as a heavy exhale, his head falling back against the door with a soft 'thunk'. Pushing himself up, he strode over to the window, sat down on the sill, and lit up a cigarette. Even through the sharp flavour of the smoke, he could still taste the chocolate, and as he slowly licked his lower lip, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Fuck," he swore, and he angrily took another drag off of the stick. He tried to blame someone or something for his momentary lapse in judgement - yet deep down, he knew that he was solely to blame. That this had all happened because an opportunity had conveniently presented itself, and he'd let his desire win over his common sense. And that didn't sit well with him at all.

He crushed out the filter on his Marlboro, promptly lighting up another one. This one he smoked a little slower, his expression turning contemplative as he tried to determine just what the hell had happened. Through the haze of smoke, he thought back to when they'd rolled into town that afternoon...

They'd eaten their evening meal, and as soon as they'd checked into their inn for the night, Hakkai had gone off to do some shopping to replenish their supplies. Sanzo had wordlessly handed over the gold card, and then settled down with his paper. In his mind, since he was the one footing the bill (never mind that the Sanbutsushin were the ones actually _paying_ for it), that exempted him from mundane chores like shopping. Goku had wanted to go with the healer, and Gojyo, who wanted some air, went with them - under the proviso that should he find a promising piece of tail, he was under no obligation to continue to serve as lackey and pack mule. They had been gone a good couple of hours before the door banged open and all three returned, laden with shopping bags. Goku was grinning from ear to ear and looked about ready to burst in his excitement, Gojyo seemed pissed off about something, and Hakkai was blushing slightly. "What the hell's wrong with you?" Sanzo asked to no one in particular, and he held out a hand for both his credit card and his fresh carton of cigarettes.

"It's nothing really," Hakkai said as he forced a laugh, and after handing the priest his things, he busied himself with putting everything away, effectively ending his obligation to continue the conversation.

"Hakkai met a lady," Goku supplied a moment later, a wide smile on his face.

"What?" Sanzo demanded, the word coming out sounding more accusatory and hostile than inquisitive.

"It's not what you think, Sanzo," Hakkai interjected as he looked up from one of the shopping bags he was emptying. "I -"

"She was working one of the stands at the market," Goku continued, his voice rising a little in his excitement to tell his story and completely drowning out the soft-spoken male. "We bought _a lot_ from her, and when we were paying, she told Hakkai her name was Mei-Liu, and she gave him a whole _box_ of stuff she'd made - cookies, chocolates, and stuff like that - just because she said he was so nice." The teen laughed. "And the best part is that the pervy, roach-head kappa over here is all pissed off because when he tried to put a move on her, she told him he wasn't her type!" He trailed off into laughter at that.

"Stupid monkey!" Gojyo growled as he swatted the teen in the back of the head. Hard. "That's not it at all! I mean, she was _okay_ , but not really my type either."

"No? Then what was it?" Goku demanded, golden eyes narrowing as he glowered at the redhead. "You're such a big, fat liar!"

"It's...complicated," the kappa remarked as he lit up a cigarette. "A little brat like you couldn't _possibly_ understand."

"I'm not a little kid, you big, dumb water sprite! I know you're just mad because she proved you're _not_ all that and a bag of chips!"

"Enough!" Sanzo roared, punctuating his statement with two deft cracks of the harisen. "Now, either shut the hell up, or get the hell out of my sight. You're giving me a damned headache with all your noise and bickering!"

"This _is_ the common room," Gojyo groused petulantly, only to start a moment later when a bullet lodged in the wall next to his head.

"You want to repeat that?" the monk demanded, his revolver now aimed between crimson eyes.

"I'm going to the bar," Gojyo grumbled, pulling the door closed behind him.

For the rest of the evening, Sanzo was in somewhat of a funk. He was annoyed with that woman for disrupting the order of things in the group. The pervy kappa was the one that the women were supposed to fawn over. Not that he didn't think the healer was attractive, or wasn't deserving of their attention, but the truth was he liked the current arrangement of Hakkai _being there_. If he started going out as much as the kappa did, that would mean there'd be less time available for him to _stay in_ with him and Goku. And should the healer decide he wanted to settle down... Sanzo shuddered. He didn't even want to think about the possibility of Hakkai not completing the mission with them. Deep down, he knew he was being irrational, but at that moment, he didn't care. As he chain-smoked his way through another pack of cigarettes, he kept stealing glances up at the other two sitting at the small table. Hakkai was smiling softly as he carefully removed the brown paper from Mei-Liu's package, and Goku was staring at him with all the intensity of a puppy begging for a treat. "Are you really going to eat that?" Sanzo demanded after a while, silently hating the woman for having made Hakkai so obviously happy.

"I'd thought about it, yes."

"What if she's one of Gyumaoh's assassins and it's been poisoned?"

Hakkai arched a brow and looked incredulously at the priest. "Your sense of humour is improving," he remarked dryly, and then he sighed heavily and shook his head slowly. "Have you really become that jaded and mistrustful that you're going to question the motives of everyone you encounter, Sanzo? Honestly, if she was looking to kill us, I hardly think she'd have prepared the package from her common stock, ne?"

"Ch, do whatever the hell you want, then," Sanzo grumbled as he once again hid behind his paper, barely holding back the embarrassed flush at having been called out by the healer.

"Go ahead, Goku." Hakkai pushed the box across the table, and the teen's pleased cheer was quickly followed by the sound of cellophane crinkling. After a few moments, a chair scraped softly across the tile and the green-eyed youkai stood. "I'm making some milk tea for Goku," he said quietly. "Would you like anything, Sanzo?" When the blond didn't reply, he sighed again - this time in resignation - and headed into the small kitchenette where he proceeded to pull out three mugs and set them on the counter. Into two, he poured a healthy shot of bourbon, and then topped them up with coffee. Into the third, he poured some sweetened condensed milk and a bit of honey, then filled the cup with hot tea. When he was finished, he wordlessly carried the mugs back into the lounge, lightly setting one down next to the priest before returning to the table. Picking up a small side plate, he set aside a few cookies, some assorted chocolates, a couple of meringues, a small handful of hard candies, and a large piece of toffee, and then he smiled at Goku. "You may have the rest if you'd like."

"Really?" Golden eyes lit up as they again surveyed the bounty, the boy practically salivating at the prospect of all those treats.

"Yes, but in return, I want you to write a thank you note for Mei-Liu. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, we'll take it to her together." Hakkai chuckled softly at the horrified expression he saw on the teen's face, and he explained gently, "It doesn't have to be long or profound. Just say thank you, tell her how much you enjoyed them, and that you appreciated her kindness."

Goku's expression morphed into a grin, and he nodded. "Yeah, that _is_ easy! I can do that!" Stuffing a cookie into his mouth, he went to retrieve the notebook that Hakkai had given him, and then he stretched out on the floor in front of the couch with his book and his box to compose his letter.

Sanzo peered around the side of his paper, scowling a little as he listened to the soft scratching of the teen's pencil across the paper and the not quite so silent noises the saru was making as he noshed. The scowl deepened a bit, his expression turning to one of slight revulsion when he heard the boy slurping his tea. Rolling his eyes a little, he shifted his gaze to Hakkai and almost immediately wished he hadn't. The brunet was currently savouring a chocolate truffle, the confection balanced delicately between his thumb and middle finger. His mouth went dry as he watched the slender throat swallow, and when a soft, pink tongue flicked out to lick the remnants of cocoa from elegant fingertips, the priest grabbed his mug and drained it in one swallow. Sanzo believed it should be a sin for someone to look that sensual while eating candy, and suddenly finding the room incredibly warm and stifling - from the liquor and hot coffee, he told himself - he got to his feet in a rustle of robes and stalked over to the window for another cigarette. In the reflection of the glass, he could see Hakkai get to his feet, moving to the now-vacant spot on the couch to set down a clean ashtray and to pick up his empty mug. For a moment, their eyes met, and then the healer turned his back to head into the kitchenette. He heard the soft pour of the bourbon and could smell the rich aroma of the coffee, and by the time he flicked his heater out the window and was returning to his place, Hakkai was bringing him a fresh drink. Sanzo gazed at him for a moment, and when the other just stood there, he shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other, and murmured, "...Thanks?"

"Mm, you're welcome," Hakkai replied softly as he set the cup down and smiled. "Would you like a kiss to go with that?"

Given his current state of mind and his latest mental musings, Sanzo's fogged brain could only think of one logical response to that question, and seemingly of its own volition, his body closed the distance between them as he pressed a quick, chaste kiss to the healer's lips and then stepped back.

Green eyes went unnaturally wide as Hakkai simply gaped at the other in stunned shock, and when he found his voice refused to work, he simply held up the plate that contained two meringue kisses.

The blond felt his blood turn cold, and his first instinct was to cast his eyes to Goku. The teen was blissfully engrossed in his letter writing and his snacks and hadn't seen anything - something for which Sanzo was inordinately grateful. "I -" His words failing him, he simply turned, and strode purposefully - he refused to run - to his room, feeling the full weight of his panic - and stupidity - only after he'd closed the door.

He'd been holed up in there ever since.

A quick glance at the clock told him it was a little past midnight, while another to the ashtray told him that he was out of cigarettes. He considered the fact that three hours had passed and no one had disturbed him to be a good sign - or at the very least, it meant that Hakkai wasn't going to pester him. He could pretend like nothing had happened, and he could live with that. Deciding he needed more cigarettes and a beer if he could find one, he cracked open his door and peered out. Seeing that there was just the light on over the cook top in the small kitchenette, he padded silently into the main room of the suite, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw the healer sitting silently in the shadows at the table, his arms folded loosely on the tabletop in front of him, and his brilliant eyes following the blond's every move. "Shit..." After a couple of moments of awkward silence, the priest continued on to the fridge to get a beer, and then began rummaging in the cupboards and bags, looking for his smokes. "Damn it," he cursed under his breath, a hint of a scowl on his face from having come up empty handed.

Hakkai shifted a little in his chair, not turning toward the other, but straightening his posture and holding up a cigarette pack between his index and middle finger.

Sanzo's expression morphed from surprised to relieved to irritated in milliseconds once he caught sight of the pack, and as he snatched the Marlboros from the other, he muttered a curt, "Bastard." Keeping his back to the demon, he lit a cigarette, took a long drink from his can, and then he started back to his room.

"So that's it then, is it?" Hakkai asked quietly, a hint of disappointment colouring his tone. "As you wish, Sanzo." There was a soft scraping against the tile as the healer pushed back his chair and got to his feet.

"And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" the monk demanded with a low hiss as he turned to glower at the other.

"All things considered, it _means_ that I find it incredibly ironic that _you're_ the one who's angry with me."

"I'm not angry."

"No? Oh, my mistake. The avoidance is just a happy by-product of what, then?" Hakkai set his glasses down on the table and rubbed tiredly at his eyes for a moment before turning that intense gaze back to the other. 

Sanzo tensed imperceptibly. He both loved and hated seeing Hakkai without his glasses on - though right now, it was the latter. The deep green seemed to be almost able to pierce right through him, as if assessing him, and he found himself at a loss for words as the other continued.

"Will this last all the way to India? No...I think you'll just treat me like a leper for a week or two until we can say that enough time has elapsed to where we can simply pretend nothing ever happened and carry on with our lives." Hakkai sighed then, his expression turning contemplative as he absently curled the tip of his tongue around one of his upper canines. "And that's why I said 'as you wish' - because you've obviously made up your mind on how we'll be handling this situation, and have so expertly found a way to avoid having to talk to me about it. By tomorrow morning, we'll be on the road again, and then you can make sure to arrange things so that you'll never have to be alone with me."

"It's not like that at all!" Sanzo retorted hotly. "You're just reading too much into shit and getting all paranoid!"

"And what would you have me believe? That I imagined it?" Hakkai's eyes fell closed and he bowed his head in resignation. "Damn it, Sanzo, why can't you _for once_ be honest with me and tell me what it is you really feel? I had hoped that by now, I'd have at least earned a modicum of trust when it came to that, but I suppose it was a lot to expect." He reached for his glasses and slipped them on, meeting the violet eyes one last time before turning away. "If we're going to get an early start, I should get some sleep so I don't drive us off the road tomorrow." A hint of a laugh escaped him. "Try not to stay up too late, ne?"

Sanzo's hands clenched into fists as he heard the other walk toward his room and open the door. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that if that door closed, things between them would be forever changed. _'Fuck, like they're not already,'_ he thought miserably as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I...panicked." He winced a little at how strained and alien his voice sounded. He heard the footsteps stop, and a small shuffle as the other turned around.

"I beg your pardon?" Hakkai asked as he stood in his doorway.

"When I...when you just stood there and stared at me like I was some kind of deviant, I...panicked." He drained the remainder of his beer and set the empty can on the table. "It's not like I've done that a lot," he added almost petulantly as he lit up a cigarette.

Hakkai just looked at him for a moment in silence, and then he giggled, the sound becoming stronger as Sanzo's expression became more and more irritated. Covering his mouth with his hand, he watched the small vein throb against the other's temple, and with obvious amusement, he said, "Oh...forgive me, Sanzo. I'm so sorry, but that's really too funny. You're worried about looking like a deviant in front of me?" He did note the brief upturn of lips on the blond. Sobering some, he offered the priest a gentle smile. "You did...surprise me, I'll give you that. Not in a bad way, but it was definitely unexpected. Unfortunately, by the time my mind had caught up to everything else, you were gone. And given how abruptly you had left, I knew better than to bother you. If anything, you'd have only shut down more if I'd approached you then."

"Hn." It never ceased to amaze Sanzo just how intuitive Hakkai was, and it was a bit unnerving how well the healer could read him. "Alright then, since you think _my_ plan is shit, what do _you_ propose we do about this?"

The question seemed to catch Hakkai off guard, and both his brows disappeared under his fringe of bangs. "Well, that depends." He took a few slow, cautious steps toward the priest, stopping about two feet from him. "Were you serious?" When the fair-haired man flushed and dropped his gaze, that gave him his answer. "Hn. I wouldn't object to it, you know." His expression softened some and he gave the blond a small smile.

It was Sanzo's turn to look surprised. After taking a long draw off his cigarette, he remarked candidly, "You don't object to a lot, Hakkai."

"Perhaps it was a poor choice of words, then," the dark-haired man remarked. "Allow me to rephrase?" A slow grin curved the corners of his mouth upward, and he said softly, "Would you like a kiss with that?"


End file.
